And it sets in

I’m beginning to feel a little sad about the approaching end of my trip, which will be the here and now in under a couple of weeks time.

I’ve still got some things that I definitely want to post about, regardless of whether I’m on the move or back at home, for example my experience of Switzerland and being at the Guinness Jazz Festival in Cork. Maybe some others as well but I’ll think about those when they get closer to the front of my mind.

This is probably graphic in the extreme but what I feel right now is like something is gnawing along the length my small intestine. And just… the immense need to sigh.

I am sad because I am going to miss all the people I’ve gotten to bump into and swim around with for a while. That in some way describes how I see it – that I’ve been making my way through this big ocean, catching currents some of the time, returning to familiar resting spots other times, and other times yet just keeping on swimming to keep swimming and not have to admit that I wasn’t sure where I was going next. And as I’ve been swimming I’ve been bumping into all sorts of curious, interesting and lovely other fish. We’ll swim together in a small circle for a wee bit and then eventually gently swish ourselves into different directions to continue our own big swims.   

I don’t really know if I’m talking about meeting and interacting with other travellers, or just with other people in any mode of life but with me coming from the perspective of traveller. I know that I never stop being a traveller whatever I do, but yet the fear I have now is that I will somehow stop swimming. I want to keep swimming. I like the space, I like the habitats in-between the space. I like bumping into and dancing with other fish. I want to meet so many more fish.

Fish out of water :/

Update: Just a bit more to explain what was behind what I was feeling when I wrote that this morning.

Last night I said goodbye to a friend at the Gare Midi here in Brussels. As I walked back the hostel after getting off the metro, I noticed that a guy was following me so I did my trick of turning the tables to become the one following him. Then it was plainly obvious that he had intended on following me because he was walking in an unnaturally relaxed way and turning his head to check behind him. So I walked back and waited behind the corner for a bit. I went back around and saw him standing partway up, and just wanting to get back to my hostel without having to do some big run-around circuit and also feeling a kind of satisfaction that I caught him out, I just headed straight up the street to find him walking straight toward me in turn. He asked me if I knew where such and such building was, I said no, he asked me where I was from, etc. etc. I really wasn’t in the mood. Fortunately he was persistent but not too persistent so after a couple of minutes and about 4 Nos I was on my way. Not without turning every now and then to find him standing at the corner watching where I was walking to. Great. Thanks a lot pal.

I was damn peeved when I got to the hostel. Needed a beer like hell. So I pull my bags out of the day lockers and head to my room, where I find a young-looking Asian guy sitting on his bunk rifling through his bag. “Hi!!!” he says to me giving me a big friendly smile. We start talking and I end up hearing about his not-so-great day involving his wallet being stolen on the metro upon being in Brussels for a few hours. He had no money so he was returning back to Dublin (where he was studying) the next day. Fortunately he had found a pair of Korean girls at the hostel from whom he could borrow 3 euros to get public transport to the airport (they actually gave him 5). Anyway…… this isn’t really a big or particularly special story.

I’m also running out of time here. I bought him and me a beer and sat and chatted some more. Then I offered to take him on a nighttime walk around the city seeing as he was going to end his Belgian holiday early, and we ended up sitting talking in the Grande Place at about 10pm with a Belgian waffle with chocolate poured over.   

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